🧠 The Core Question:

“If animals mate instinctively, why does man need training?”

This question cuts to the heart of what makes human sexuality more than just biology. Unlike animals, whose sexual behavior is driven largely by instinct and reproduction, human sexuality is layered with meaning, emotion, language, memory, trauma, culture, and self-awareness.

Sex, for humans, is not just an act—it is identity, power, communication, vulnerability, and often, a source of confusion and suffering.

📜 A Brief History of Sex Therapy

🏛️ Ancient Roots:

• Ayurveda and Kama Sutra (India): Approached sex as a balanced part of life—physical, spiritual, and emotional.

• Greek and Roman cultures: Philosophers like Ovid and Aristotle explored erotic love, but often limited by class and gender roles.

⛓️ Medieval to Victorian Era:

• Sexuality was shrouded in sin, shame, and silence.

• Women’s pleasure was dismissed; male dominance and reproductive function were emphasized.

• Psychiatry began pathologizing non-normative sexuality.

🔓 The 20th Century – Breaking Silence:

• Freud: Linked sexuality to unconscious drives and childhood experiences.

• Havelock Ellis & Kinsey: Pioneered sexual behavior research.

• Masters and Johnson (1957): Created a revolution by studying sexual response in the lab, developing sensate focus therapy for dysfunction.

• Helen Singer Kaplan (1970s): Integrated psychodynamic and behavioral approaches—founder of modern sex therapy.

🌱 Why Humans Need Sex Therapy Today

1. Sex Is Emotional, Not Just Physical

• Desire is tied to self-esteem, trust, safety, past trauma, and emotional intimacy.

• Unlike animals, humans can feel guilt, shame, and rejection—all of which affect sexual function.

2. We Inherit Cultural Scripts

• “Good girls don’t desire sex.”

• “Real men must always be ready.”

• “Sex is dirty” or “Sex is sacred.”
  These scripts shape sexual anxiety, performance pressure, and inhibition.

3. The Mind-Body Disconnect

• Stress, distraction, depression, or trauma can shut down arousal.

• Many people are in their heads during sex—not their bodies.

4. Misinformation and Porn Culture

• Unrealistic expectations about what sex should look like

• Fear of inadequacy, comparison, and performative pressure

5. The Complexity of Modern Relationships

• Emotional labor imbalance

• Misaligned desire levels

• Consent, autonomy, and gender fluidity are evolving norms

🛠️ What Sex Therapy Offers

• A safe, shame-free space to talk

• Tools to rebuild connection, desire, and communication

• Techniques like sensate focus, mindfulness, and cognitive reframing

• A shift from “performance” to pleasure, connection, and presence

💬 Real-Life Parallel

A bird doesn’t need therapy to build a nest. But a human might read architecture books, debate aesthetics, or get overwhelmed by mortgage anxiety.

Just like eating is natural, but disordered eating exists—sex is natural, but sexual dysfunction, trauma, misinformation, and fear distort it.

Humans have consciousness and complexity—so our intimacy requires not just instinct, but understanding and healing.

📍 Dr. Srinivas Rajkumar T
Consultant Psychiatrist – Adult & Relationship Therapy
Apollo Clinics Velachery & Tambaram | Mind & Memory Lab
🌐 www.srinivasaiims.com | 📞 +91 85951 55808
Empowering individuals and couples to understand and reclaim their intimacy through scientific and compassionate care.